The Cheezies Incident

“… i happen to live with Cheezies # 1 fan …”

Have you ever had Hawkins Cheezies?   A Canadian icon, people have been inspired to create art by them,  (like this lovely piece);   they had been proudly displayed in the background of the Canadian hit show ‘Corner Gas’;  and if you serve them at a party,  they are guaranteed to be the first snack to disappear.  Made from cornmeal, salt and real cheddar cheese,  they are as Canadian as apple pie is American.

And you know what else?  I happen to live with Cheezies #1 fan.  A staple in his snack diet,  Big Bear relishes Cheezies.  Ask him what he’d like to nosh on during the hockey game: Cheezies.  Ask him what he’d like to dip into his tomato soup: Cheezies. Ask him what he wanted to name his firstborn: Cheezie.  Ok, so I’m exaggerating on a couple things  (guess which),  but to make my point:  BigBear has a grand fondness for Cheezies.

We are currently on a holiday in Maui,  and as blessed as we are to be here, you know what the bummer about it is?  You can’t buy Cheezies here.  Keeping this factoid in mind back home,  Big Bear took the liberty of stuffing his carry on bag with a fairly substantial supply.  But now that we’ve been here for a bit,  rationing Cheezies is easier said than done.  Three hockey games and two PGA tourneys later,  there they were.  Gone.

Now, I want everyone to know how much I love this man and want him to be happy.  I went online to my favourite – Amazon.com – knowing they would deliver to Maui quickly – and spent $25.77USD for three 5 oz bags of Cheezies sold by an individual Amazon seller in Canada who I now consider a Cheezie pusher.  Damn you Cheezie addiction.  Damn you!

But do you know what the spooky thing about that Amazon Cheezie delivery was?  When UPS rang our door bell – out of the blue,  Big Bear prophesied that his Cheezies were home.  And he was right.  Spooky.  Really really spooky.

A few days later, Big Bear Jr. was coming to meet us in Maui,  and inadvertently has become Big Bear’s Cheezie mule.  A diligent son is Big Bear Jr.  He obediently stuffed his suitcase with a large three pack of the salty cheesy devils and made his way across the Pacific.  I awaited his arrival late that night while Big Bear went to fetch him at the airport.  Soon afterward,  Big Bear walked into the house, arms outstretched and holding what appeared to be the remnants of two Cheezie bags.  It looked as if they were laid out on the busiest freeway in the world and left there for two days.  He gingerly dumped the remains on the kitchen counter and cried.  Big Bear Jr.  was shedding a tear over what was now his Cheezie graveyard suit case in the garage.

For so much Cheezie drama,  there has to be a happy ending.  Little Big Bear and his sweety pie were also coming to meet us in Maui.  The second unofficial Cheezie mule had a very important mission: get the Cheezies here. In. One. Piece.  Also a very diligent and obedient son,  he loaded up his suit case with his triple bubble wrapped Cheezies and escorted them over the Pacific for his dad’s one last chance at Cheezie happiness.  The news was good.  The Cheezies arrived safe and unharmed much to Big Bear’s joy.

Our family has left us now and we are slowly recovering from the scars of Cheezie madness.  There have been a few good hockey and golf games on tv for Big Bear to watch,  and even though he’s had a third of the world Cheezie supply here – much to his credit –  he is trying very hard to ration.  That was made clear the other day when I noticed him eating what I thought was soup out of a bowl.  Soup?  I ask.  Not even close.  It was the last of the Cheezie disaster from Big Bear Jr.  He was eating the crumbs.  Out of a bowl.  With a spoon.

This is why I love you Big Bear,  not ever a dull moment. ♥